Not By The Hair Of My Chinny, Chin, Chin

By Leslie Moniz

When we were young, our father, grandfather or uncle would ever-so-lovingly give us a kiss us on the cheek and unintentionally scratch us with their morning shadow. Ouch. At the time we hated it, and didn’t realize that a beard very similar to the one that left our cheeks chafed, would be the one we desire men to have as we became women.

The Swagoo Girls have created a guide to show how we perceive the bearded you, in different scruff scenarios.  Now let’s cut to the chase.

Short, Clean, Classic = Sophisticated


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We know the upkeep of this sculpted, trimmed-down look may be off-putting for the busy, successful gentlemen you are, but we can’t help but notice when you have invested time in your facial upkeep. Taking a few extra minutes with a #2 trimmer can do wonders and make the ladies do a double take as you strut by.

*Swagoo Girls Tip: The thinner the width, the less heads you’ll turn. Jon B was only popular in the 90s for a reason.

Trained, Tamed, Supple = Disciplined


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Lucky for you, your parents blessed you with the gene for growing luscious locks… no big deal. You’ve been patient and conquered the months it took to get to this point. Your facial hair is flowing, but how do you maintain it? We imagine you read heaps of articles, which try to lure you into dropping your hard-earned cash on unnecessary products. Well, we’re here to tell you this isn’t the case. All you will need are the essentials:

  1. Comb or brush: for detangling
  2. High-grade clippers: for trimming
  3. Scissors: for detailing
  4. Beard shampoo: for cleansing (very important)
  5. Beard oil or moisturizer: for softness and health

 You won’t regret growing, trimming and maintaining this look. We admire men who display patience and tenacity in any form, including sculpting your beard.

Unrestrained, Fractious, Bold = Savage

Bearded part 3


This look, similar to its predecessor though oh-so-different, sends a message of masculinity and ruggedness. As we have become accustomed to seeing this beard in the office, on the streets, and just about everywhere, we can’t help but wonder, “who’s the man behind that scruff?” The mystery will leave us longing to learn more about you. Is he into sports? Does he fish or skateboard? We love that this look leaves our imaginations running wild and we won’t want to wait to get to know you.

There you have it fellas: a peek into how we see you. The cat is out of the bag and hopefully our secrets are safe with you. Happy clipping!